a BaSkET fULL of rUbbiSH

I dunno why, after so long also i still have a need to bitch about something i stand so strongly for…. ethics, or so it seems…..

It has dawned on me that it is so "talked" about within my profession’s community, the whole big thing accompanied by seminars, bodies to monitor, oversight boards is actually in dire straits…..

Nobody seems to care too much, they go for talks, they talk till the cows come home ,then when the cows do, they pack their bags, go back to their hotels,  and return the next day for another round of "fellick" talk…..and the cycle goes on, they have big banners showing more talks and seminars, and more advertisements showing or planning the next "gathering of the fellick talkers"

Mind my harshness, but there is a defect beyond the superficial frontal farce this so called "ethics awareness" has created.

The biggest crooks are the ones who actually sit on the " so called board" and give you talks on how to be ethical in the profession. They are the partners of firms worldwide, partners of small firms, partners of medium firms, chief executive of LLPs, etc. No, this is not a case of slander, but the same shit-heads who spearhead all these audit firms are the ones who actually are, for the sake of the "almighty dollar" give up their ethics, and the rest of their people just follow suit, its a " do-or-die" situation.

In our country at least, the results of all these talks are nowhere to be seen.

I can give you classic examples such as sources of funds to a company without documentation, forged invoices, "am kong" money paid to government officials and their croonies, etc etc etc, and more recently, "tenancy" agreements with relatives of a director of a PUBLIC LISTED COMPANY to rent vehicles owned by these relatives stating facts such as fuel, tyre changes, repairs and maintenance all borne by THE COMPANY and the COMPANY pays the OWNERS to USE THEIR OWN MUTHERFUCKING CARS.

It was obviously fake, and there was one, even more terror, use stamping office to stamp the deal……..the motive of doing something so stupid, so that the owners ( who are also people who fucking drive those cars "on behalf of the Company") can maintain ownership, but pays nothing for the cars….imagine, renting a Mazda 4wd from a relative at RM 2,500 per month when the monthly installment to own the car isn’t even half of it.

Annnnnnnnnnnnd, what do we do?, we just keep quiet, and "photocopy" these so called agreements, indicate with our mighty green ink pen that we "sighted" the tenancy agreement.

Times, i even come across "consultancy fees" paid to god knows who for receiving large projects from the government and other conglomerates. Obviously these were paid to people IN the "government/conglomerates", again what do we do, green ink pen, mark there sigted to invoice.

What’s the freaking point? I often asked.

We are all out here to make a living, to point our errors and control weaknesses, to be the watchdogs, but with all these happenings, we only end up becoming well, dogs…..

I write in frustration, as recently, i come across a lot of hypocritical "partners" cum "people" who use big words in their "speeches" when they are the ones who will sign off any fees in excess of RM 10,000 as long as "some" work is done.

We have become so helpless, defenseless and we are at the mercy of these "so-called" clients. Its sad, but what to do?……

SO again, to all those accountants out there, take my brave step, walk like a man, when they say the pen is mightier than the sword, it is true, i lifted it and wrote a letter with the words :-

" I regret to inform you that I am tendering my resignation as Audit Associate with effect from this date and will serve my one month’s notice"

Yes, this is an old story, a story i took about almost half a year before i wrote it, i have since left that place….and now am starting anew….accountants or future accountants to be out there, stand by your believe, there is no point in cheating first and foremost, yourself. You can cheat and be deceitful to others, but you know deep down, u can never pass that section of yours.

BE weary of the duties of confidentiality, but do stand up for the misuse or abuse of such a duty. We are to remain private, and confidential with regards to any company we work for, but when such a privilige is being abused, misused, do not, be afraid to stand tall and shake the heavens.

CiaoZ…………

kUngFu pAuL

It’s day 104 at my new place…things have been pretty okay……as expected, i am learning at my own pace, moving at a speed i can comprehend and picking up pieces as i move along….

i met some great people and friends, and some have left, one chap, ( still in touch with him ), told me something i already know, but had a hard time admitting it, he said, " life is a journey, not a destination". often, we seek a destination. we are always so caught up with setting targets, plans, and well..in short, destinations of our life….sure…i admit there is a great deal of goodness in planning, but life is not a DESTINATION….it can be journeyed along and we can see, feel, touch and hear things around us.

And this root from the need to feel IN CONTROL……well….i have stopped that and took life one pace at a time…..

I recently met a fellow auditor, who had enough of 4 years of sheer torture in the industry..and called it quits….he messaged me and told me he might resign, and i told him, if he is not with a wife, and two kids stranded needing food in the mouth, then there is no need for him to think twice on throwing the god damned letter….he did, the very next working day…..he said his happiest moment was when he signed the letter, and the high got better when he threw it in the face of his managers and HR people….i told him….the high will be the climax on ur last working day….when u can see a work-life balance and he can call me for fishing….

i mean, yeah i may be only 25….and still got like f*&^ing 25 years ahead of me, and maybe more…but i reminded myself i ONLY got another 25 years….and i am not going to make that 25 years go down the drain by working for someone or somewhere who calls u on a sunday when u are fishing to demand that u get ur ass to the office….life…is not like dat right??

My current boss, a sheer gentleman, explained it neat and clear to me….he expects me to work the late nights on field audits since i am already away and family is not around (NO field audits during public holidays stretch)….and as the deadline is tight, but once i reach homebase, i am expected to leave at 5.30 and go home for a family dinner…..and take it easy….its not too much to ask for, compared to "my previous" workplace and industry where it is expected that u stay on…….or else bonus is affected….ridiculous….i would rather screw bonus and get my bonus from a happier meal at the dinner table and laughing away with my friends and family….

In the light of christmas….as now i am more " christmasy" than before….( i guess the whole "hellish" experience i had on christmas last year in a foreign land where they pray only to lord buddha" really made me appreciate this year’s christmas more)…..its time for these selfish baskets of this cruel cruel industry to take a loooooong hard look at their resources and give them the moment where they CAN spend christmas or any other holiday seasons for that matter with their families… and not ask them to pack their bags off to a foreign land and missing the whole family gathering.

This year round, i am not going to miss christmas at all, not the midnight mass, not a single SECOND of christmas…i am going to sing praises this year, and will up my volume two notches to tell them all…..and will celebrate in the coming of our Lord…..

There is soooooooooooooooooooo much more to life than to prove u are so "worthy" to the Company by skipping public holidays in the name of work….

So what if i won’t drive my first Mercedes by 30, or get my own chaffeur by 38. i will get there, slowly but surely…….

Well…enough bitching about the industry and work as it is…..to anyone reading my blog, do have a heart for your own self….take this year as a reflection of what has happened to you in the past few years of your life ( my group of friends all also my age one la)….evaluate and ask if it is all worth it, ask urself if life is a destination or a journey??…….

till the next blog everyone, Merry Christmas and a blessed blessed new year =)

Harlow fellow citizens of the world who even bother reading my blog…..

Aight….got me second paycheck…..so me very happy….very big hearted, so anyone interested for free coffee…offer valid while cash last….HAH

Okay…..i had this nagging sensation to bitch about my line of work….or…well..my ex-line of work……

I knew one day the whole industry will collapse….if not weaken…and in the not so distant future crumble under the weight of fake pretenses, hypocrisy, and sheer stupidity……i am talking about the auditing industry…..yes i WAS in the auditing industry…it is a sham if you ask me personally….a big huge scandal…more serious than catching your boss in bed with another man’s wife…HAH take that….more scandalous than finding out who leaked out board room secrets into public….in the corporate world…it is a big bad scary shit ass world…..

I extrapolated some facts, figures and practices of my ex place, and i envisioned a world full of backstabbing, hatred, stress, bitching, and a world where employers do not treat employees like human beings, but rather as ” a mass which contains little or no feature,dignity,nor emotion”…

u see…we are so used to hearing some senior asses in large ass firms telling the young ones how they sufferred back in the 60s la, 70s la, 80s la….and that we young kids these days have it easy……and that the “torture” was not half as bad as what they had…so they have every single bloody fu*&ing right to treat us like how they were treated 30- 40 years ago….thing is…..the world moved on and these lil ba5t@rd5 dun seem to tag along…gone are the days where u can treat employees worse than animals ( at least animals get their 3 square meals and get tied up) but we human beings are deprived of lunch, dinner, family gatherings, and even public holidays…if we fail to abide, people throw the culture guilty trip at you…..

They give you an elusive and constantly moving goal post for you to reach, but after 8 - 10 years you find that u still can;t seem to find that post, let alone score a goal there…..

An industry so clouded now my megalomaniac corporate failures and the once BIG FOUR names now stink worse than my dog urine in the mornings……in the daily nitty gritties all you get is half wit nit wit dumb wit chicks or punks who ask stupid questions to their clients, and sucking up their asses so hard they sore….and in the end, succumb to these company’s director’s instructions and ocme up with some f*&^%d up results which 6 months down the road causes firms to be banned from submitting or filling listings to the bourses…..

I have heard, from friends and punks alike within the industry where these young external auditors are now suffering from all sorts of depression, clinical la, manic la, mild la, some even went schizho….and thats no good…….people threatening to kill themselves, people with such low self esteem…..it is getting worse…it doesn;t help that we are well aware that these firms are in severe shortage of people that they’re starting to pick up strays with the most minimum or no qualification….some firms even put ” sports qualifications” on top of the necessary I REPEAT neccesary academic qualification to be even called an Oh-Di-Ter…..

It is ridiculous…the way things are moving now…..

You find zombies walking day i and out of work…the survivors are normally ones who knows which balls to suck and which balls to kick….it is all a ball treating game…play ur balls right, and you will survive…..

It’s sad that a once noble profession which was even a lineage of my own family tree ( my gramp was an ‘audit personnel” back in the british colonial days) right down to my uncles and aunties……now beginning to see its damage done……

Partners are worried sick day in and day out…..praying that nobody sues them for misrepresentation but it is all brought upon by themselves, killing their own people, and in return, these fellows sabotage your firm…..WOW sounds like fun…..

With all due respect for the industry and its people, i pray and only hope that external auditors can one day be treated as human beings…..independent, careful, dilligent in their work and exercise all due care and professionalism……and not end up looking like a man who’s lost all his youth by 30 to a company who doesn’t pay him/her well and rob them off their happiness…..workers regardless of profession should be granted happiness and peace….they should not be fooled and trapped into believing that they can one day use that fucking coffee machine next to the “regular” coffee making facilities pantry in their office…and that people need no rush back to office after a long hard day to calculate the minimum audit fees on a friday night…..

There must be check and balance, to ensure no compromise in quality, and not merely pushing out quantity to earn higher fees and to get a better bigger car to arrive at the 5 star hotel….it’s not that….

All these fancy posh addresses and premises, are facades to a dark cynical planned world where the key people are treating their resources like dolls on their fingertips,

To all you out there…do not be deluded that you will get there one day, as i see it, there is not GET THERE ONE DAY…there isn;t even that somewhere…it will not come……

So till my next blog friends out there……zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

It’s been 31 days into my new place. I am pretty happy with what and where i am doing…things are much to my pleasant surprise at the current place, though i have learnt to be cautious and to qualify such an absolute statement, so, i would say its too soon to tell, but long enough to give me the impression that i can think long term this time round. Alright, since my last blog, i have not changed much, hmmm except that now i truly have to say that i have accepted God deep into my heart. I have learnt to pray, and i have learnt to ask. I have learnt to fear Him. But that’s God.

Now, my life, well, since the last last blog, i told you my life is always WIP, so i have rearranged my room again, throwing out and shredding out all the old workplace’s "rough paper" and burning them ( to destroy all sensitive information) and fill the bookcase with my accounting standards (blek) and displaying all my debate trophies all over the place, i bought two new matchbox cars ( a new Mercedes and a new BMW) and err, i made an altar for myself (in worship of God)…and i allocated an extra drawer for my wife-to-be clothes….God willing, we’re getting our own place next year (hopefully 1st quarter 2008) and we’ll start procreating soon enough MUAHHAHAHAHAH time to spread wild oats…..

Well, i am technically sick, down with the usual flu and cough ( bad weather) and i write cause i can…u see..i was so fu*&^ing stressed and busy at my old place that i didn’t have time to tell the whole bloody world that i was…see….i even lost contact with some great friends because of some crummy job…..

ANyways, all of you out there, pray for me, and wish me luck, keep me in ur prayers and i wll keep yours too in mine. Keep moving forward in life, and look up ahead, occasionally, looking down to see where you are stepping, once in awhile, we step into a whole lotta shit, but eventually, we will get out of it, learning a thing or two along the way, and pave our path carefully the next time round.

My family have also grown up, in age, wisdom, and around the waist. Slowly, we are moving to another phase of life, mum and dad as soon to be retirees while son and daughters are getting their careers kicked off…..

My sister still writes on freelance for the local dailies, while the younger one is still busy with her boyfriend, my mum talks like she’s 94 but she’s only 49 and dad talks like he’s 5 when he is 50. well….sing of times, and aging of course…..

My friends, hmmmm……yeah, they’ve also started moving upwards, yeah, i didn;t realize that some of them are married WITH KIDS….man i jealous kat u all la…..some of them are making it big, some of them are into direct selling, some doing drugs, some doing public performance, some are actors in mainstream TV, and some are models in fashion magazines…..we have become all sorts, to be out there, to generate economic value to our country….yeah one of them also planning to be the next PM..and he’s like another 20 years to it…..

Till the next blog. the actifad is working on me, so is the cough syrup, and the panadol, and the sleeping pills, and the antibiotics, and the painkillerszzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Dear people,

I have officially been punk’d…..as much as i would like to trust the human being or shall i say, the HUMAN kind, i was perplexed, disturbed, and shocked beyond understanding on how some people can react….i know it takes all sorts to make the world go round, but never ever in my entire life, have i seen such blatant display of finger pointing, back stabbing, and LYING in my life…i mean we are all guilty of little white lies like "i’m on my way home now" when u’re still playing daytona and in the last leg…..but man…i’ve never seen a more disgusting behavior of someone telling me and another A totally different story altogether…..shocked……total hypocrite…i’ve been longing to bitch smack this bitch a long time ago, but i had to hold back for i fear the adverse publicity it may bring, so i just suffered from stomach ulcers and swallow it until i start blogging……

this bitch…it totally unreasonable….Ms. V….as i would put it, would have one of the most pretentious outlook one can ever find….she goes around telling people about how good she is, how kind she is, how wonderful she is, but when it comes to the real thing, there was never a time when she actually did those things….terror leh…welcome to my world…..but oh well…since it’s going to be my last few days at work….and i’m moving into something greater, better, bigger and more promising i hope, i wanna put all this behind me, pray that it’ll work out…i hope i do not have to fill in timesheets which don’t really reflect one’s activity during the day, i hope i dun have to report to so many people telling them the same bloody story all over again each time i see a different senior and ot manager, i just want to work, i just want to move on with my life……

but all in all, this has definitely made me tougher, and like they say..what doesn;t kill u, only makes u stronger….i shall be THEN…stronger…….

well..i will most probably be blogging from now till my new place commences….for the heck of it, really…..but it’ll pretty much be the same shit day in day out…..but u never know what interesting thing that may pop up during the waiting weeks….

well i’ve got only one or two companies to rap up, and looks like i may be leaving the current place a little sooner than expected….

wish me well, and wish me luck….

till the next BloG

CiaoZ

why do i even bother to blog….especially when all i do in friendster is check out chicks and see if my old school and college mates and well, ex work mates are still alive or dead…but oh well, since i am free…and i’ve got another 20 minutes till the end of my lunch time, i guess i have every single bloody right to be blogging…

Thus says paul, after 1 "fruitful" and well, learning year in horwath, i guess it’s time to move onto something, possibly because i have changed my perception and perspective on many things. I am 24, but i sound like a freaking 42. Well, new place looks good, nice old teak all over…wood elements all over, much to my liking, and i get free parking ( hah…..benefits leh….)……well…..salary is not like so freaking great, but i suppose it’s enough to get by days la…..

after one year of auditing, and many thanks to my current place which has enabled me to learn, i think i may have to reset my priorities and look for a different set of challenge…i’ve made enough enemies to last me a lifetime there, and also some good friends whom i would love to have coffee regularly with from time to time.

Nope, it’s not the end of the world, but i do suppose it’s the end of sumthing which will lead to something else. In the words of WKM Sr. The light at the end of the tunnel which leads u to another tunnel HaH!….

I have learnt to let go many things, particularly because of my new found self in the one upstairs….and know that there are so bloody many things u just cannot take into ur hands and say…AHAH…that;s it….sometimes we just need to bow down humbly before Him and let Him decide whats best for us. now i sound like a cantor/priest…..sigh…..

So, essentially, my life is a WIP contnuously, i rearrange my room so often, that the older stuff haven;t even gotten a chance to collect dust.

Jenni is still with me…WooHoo…ten years and still going strong…..we just splurge RMxxxx shopping a few days ago…and we are damn straight going to do that again sometime at the end of the year i hope….she’s still my one and only one….and yes..her clothes are now OFFICIALLY at MY place…hah…take that =P…..

I see a lot of my friends all grown up…."girl haters" now have girlfriends, gayboys now turn straight, heck even Edrei finally went "public" about his love interest…i thought he always spent only on computer chips…some old friends are beginning to surface and bit by bit all of us are growing older, wiser, and perhaps, fatter round the corner…..girls also have their respective boyfriends, and with the daunt of camera phones, camwhoring is a real pasttime…and well….it’s good…at least when i bump into them, i dun end up asking…err…who are u ar??……

times have changed too….so have all of us……and that;s err…good i suppose…..

so till then to any bloody body who’s bothered to read my blog…..

n yes tharish, if u do read it, start crying =P

after a few months out of action, i am beginning to feel the nagging sensation to bitch about the world, who doesn’t anyway??, and what better place than the good old Blogmachine.

ahhh…well…….so what has been going on with me the past soooo long……well…for starters, i am with a decent audit firm now, for once, after job hopping for like 4 months, and finally settled into the firm i am with now….beginning to think and feel like an auditor/accountant, always trying to screw others for a better deal, heck, even the florist which i buy flowers for my girl is not spared…gee…it’s getting expensive to make a girl happy these days

so….now…i have grown a little taller or so i would like to believe, grew a lot wiser, learnt a lot more about humbleness, sincerity and love for family…..and a lot a lot more street savvy now….3 months into my current job, i was posted to Cambodia for like 3 weeks, it seemed forever while i was there…and i had my share of extremely unpleasant memories, and extremely pleasant memories…it was bittersweet, and it was one heck of an experience, learnt so much more than i think i would have…..in terms of audit technicalities right down to the human heart….

we are all fragile little creatures really…human being….a bunch of frail plastics, a thin sheet of glass, all of us breakdown, its just what makes us breakdown….from what i have learnt, i know no what breaks me down….

Well….life has not been swell, it’s not the same since i started earning my own mulah, and heck now i even committed myself into buying a car with my girl…no easy job, extremely demanding, and definitely humble u to the core point of humility…..

So…..i’m much stronger now, much learned now, and seen much more now….i’ve got loads to go, and still keep to my own true self ala Paul Wong style….i have not changed in character, but i have changed in person. It’s the little things u see, feel, hear that gives u a whole new perspective on life and what it stands for.

My results will be out in a couple of days, i will probably be too darn busy to sit home and moan about it, so i’ll just work my a$$ off and open my inbox when it comes, and pray it goes well…..till then….

it’s been six months or so since i left this place alone….hand a bit itchy on a sunday…..while talking with pik kay about sum rude chick….

anyway……..life’s been stressful….blood pressure shot up…..acca exams in 15 days…..i think i;ll write one more la…by the time i hit my first paper…about how much larger my peni$ swelled compared to paper 3.1 audit and assurance…or how much wetter my hands were in the made-in-antartica- air conditioner of a college hall….

oh well…life’s been pretty kind to be apart from my high pressure reading, i’m taking it slow now, hence my blog update…how much more relaxed can u get when u have time to write sumthing that nobody really bothers to read…..

well….hmmm lemme try to think of sumthing interesting to write….nah…got three…but i think i will keep that for the next i tell u blog….pik kay’s story is just about getting interesting..lazy to type here liao

ciaoZ tata. take care. and yeah i remeber u solihah =)…..old school frens how to ferget one….

In the words of Collective soul, The world i know

Has our conscience shown?
Has the sweet breeze blown?
Has all the kindness gone?
Hope still lingers on.
I drink myself of newfound pity
Sitting alone in new york city
And I don’t know why.

Are we listening to hyms of offering?
Have we eyes to see that love is gathering?
All the words that I’ve been reading
Have now started the act of bleeding into one.

So I walk up on high
And I step to the edge
To see my world below.
And I laugh at myself
As the years roll down.
’cause it’s the world I know.
It’s the world I know.

It’s sad, the world is so different now from what i used to see it 10- 15 years ago, as a child, fearless and carefree, as i am entering the early years of my adulthood, i begin to understand why my parents are "skeptical" about things, negate certain issues, and take everything with a pinch of salt, i hate the new way of looking a things, but at the same time, i find it a blessing to know that i have been developing as i grow along, just today i had a great lesson, by people around me who have been there done that, lecturers, and of course, ah yah my own father…..he’s 50, he calls it the age where u’re too young to die, and too old to do anything useful. the same man who profess by his belief that smoking is bad for health, but heck good for the body. anyway, this is one of those spur of the moment life’s lesson that i am posting about, u’ve probably heard it like a million times, but still….it’s unexplainable, deep, ethical and dillemaish, i mean of course i have no first had experience, but it’s like these people around me are killing the fun of making mistakes, they keep telling u their mistakes in the hope that u dun make them. But it seems that the more they tell, the more prone u are into getting urself into it, i suppose this is when u say, life’s lessons are learnt, not taught. U cannot teach a man how to avoid corruption, he himself will determine if he has rights to corruption, u cannot teach a man to help others, he has to find in himself the emotions to give.

It’s weird, funny, the whole week just this whole week, i have done so many things i have never done before, i actually act rationally and learnt to control impulsive actions like slamming doors on my lecturers and fighting with people who cross my path, maybe ive learnt not to make enemies, or maybe it’s the morning prayers i am saying now daily ( well…the ACCA results sure needs helluva lot of prayers), it’s sad to say that i am 22 and i am already mellowing down. I started becoming the bigger person( though i am already 6 feet 3 inches and have a waistline of 38). I am starting to do things when previously i thought i would only read in the chicken soup series while shitting my brains out in the toilet and then tell myself, what a whole lotta crap. It’s weird, it’s coming, and it’s happening, maybe i think too much, or maybe it’s just a phase i am going through.

I am 22, but i feel like i’ve seen 40 years of life, i’ve felt like i’ve lived much longer here than i am now, i am even not afraid to die. Like if it happens tmrw( touchwood), i would want my parents to play music like Van Halen, Deep purple, Bon Jovi, Bon Jovi, and Eagles during my funeral. It’s sad, but i think it’s happening, my frens call me "cheong hei", sum called me "ah pak" doesnt help that i have more white hair than most 30 year olds…it’s the genes i tell u, even my sister says i emulate my father often enough and am getting pretty good at it, they tell my mum i sound like my 50-year-old-smoking-is-bad-for-health-but-good-for-the-body-believer father. 

I suppose, in shorter terms i am growing up, sum 30 year olds still party hard like they used to when they’re 18-19, sum 50 year olds fight like little children over sum grandmother stories such as wartime stories but i suppose, i am seeing it the way i am suppose to see it, the way i am suppose to analyse and then come to conclusions different from people, this past two years of college life, i learnt beyond curriculum and academia, i learnt to explore parts of my tiny brain i have never used before, judgements, plans, thinking, yeah a whole lotta thinking, and how to see and read people around me, learn to be skeptical, learn to negate and learn to swallow the humble pie. It was good while it lasted, and oh well, it is still ongoing, i learn new things every single freaking day. no rest for the weary they say

So people, go learn, go explore and go find out fer urselves, why, what how, when and where life is bringing u. u’ll soon see.

CiaoZ

KungFu pAuL

I tell you arrr

Yes, I have updated my blog, this time to tell ya all about day 2 of my harrowing experience with the world’s craziest, toughest exams. The ACCA papers. Today was day two, and it was tougher than the first ( yesterday’s) aiyor, I tell u, for three hours I had butterflies, sandflies, houseflies, and other types of flies in my stomach. Each jabbing and biting my poor thin walls out ( I lost weight btw since the last blog).

I tell you, for three hours, u never feel more adrenaline rush in ur body than ever before, I mean coughing out 3 main points of clash in debates in 7 minutes is easy, but coughing out three points for ur papers, man, that was mother of all toughness, even leather boots aren’t so tough,

I tell you, in my 22 donkey years of my existence, I never felt more stressed in an examination hall than I had today, no, it wasn’t the BIG huge airy space of the college hall, nor was it the super cold air conditioning meant to kill even the Eskimos. But rather the pressures of knowing that u have to cough out nearly 450 bucks to resit one paper. It’s the thought of all those hard-earned money go down the drain because of a pen, this is when I truly agree, the pen Is mightier than the sword.

I tell you, neither ur STPM nor ur SPM nor ur PMR nor ur silly little thesis paper in degree programmes can prepare you for the wonderful colors of Benetton u see when u do ur ACCA papers.

I tell you, in those three hours, I finally realize the full potential of my brains ( which btw is not very impressive either anyway). And how much u can actually do in three hours.

I tell you, if interviewers were to shoot me with 100 questions in 3 hours, I would gladly answer each one of them in no time, but in the paper, 5 questions also I cannot finish.

I tell you, after those three hours, u feel drained, your peni$ starts to swell because u held onto ur pee pee for a little too long, and ur hands feel so cold that u dun even need air con in ur car despite it being under the hot sun for like 4 hours. U feel a shiver down ur back that creeps, the type that makes u wanna faint.

I tell you, after the three hours, u cannot even taste the salt in Macdonald’s fries, the sugar in the coke and u cannot even tell if u had chilli sauce or if u had tomato sauce. Heck I dun even know if I was eating beef or chicken if I didn’t look at the color. Even that I had to wear my glasses.

I tell you,  after those three hours, u see 5 lanes on MRR2, u see cows crossing the roads ( which I knew were not there though the occurrence is highly possible) and u hear sirens ringing in ur ears, I have never felt that since I first started driving 5 years ago.

I tell you, after those three hours I suppose if I pass the paper in which I tell u again my dear frens reding this, please do pray fer me, I hope I can sit back and laugh at the day I suffered this trauma during the exams, It’s no fun, a first timer sitting in an examination so big, so tough, and so real, it was scary, fun, crazy, wild, weird, exciting, relieving all in one three hour examination.

I tell you, you’ll start to consider at some point if u have made the wrong or right decision, u will question if u have the energy to move on, to carry on, u start to think if u really want to go through all these for a silly title to start pushing papers,

But then again,

I tell you, when u finish the paper and sit back and finish ur half hearted macdonalds foldover, or when u start driving floatingly along MRR2 and the elevated highway, u start to smile and say hey, perhaps I didn’t do too bad did I??,

I tell you, after drinking sum sugar into your body, and walloping a cup of ice cream and sit there with ur undies on in front of the computer typing ur blog, u start to think, hey, maybe it isn’t as tough as it seems.

I tell you, when u realize that all u have is two more papers, and u have done two earlier ones, u sigh relief that u have went through the trauma, and u dun feel so bad after all, suddenly the butterflies start to mate elsewhere instead of ur tummy, and the sandflies seem to have died due to hydrochloric acid poisoning ( and probably diedof the combo dinner I had), and when the houseflies seem to have found their way out of u know where, u feel light, u feel hopeful and u feel glad it went through without any casualties

I tell you, this HarroWing experience taught me a valuable lesson, gone are the days where accountants are bookkeeping geeks, yes we are nerdy at times, not knowing the latest fall fashion, or who married who in showbiz, but we know our standards, we can shun off those old timers qualified by experience, we know much more than we used to do, we have learnt a great deal of stuff that cannot be garnered merely by reading books,

I tell you, ACCA is no play play paper, dun for a second think you can outsmart those B%^^&y kwai lohs, they have come a long long way, perhaps I may have to refer, perhaps I dun, but deep down only I know what will happen, it was great it is still great, perhaps more i tell yous after the 14^th which is the last day, but right now, all I can tell you is :

Two down, Two More To Go.

Adios, CiAOz