a BaSkET fULL of rUbbiSH

In the words of Collective soul, The world i know

Has our conscience shown?
Has the sweet breeze blown?
Has all the kindness gone?
Hope still lingers on.
I drink myself of newfound pity
Sitting alone in new york city
And I don’t know why.

Are we listening to hyms of offering?
Have we eyes to see that love is gathering?
All the words that I’ve been reading
Have now started the act of bleeding into one.

So I walk up on high
And I step to the edge
To see my world below.
And I laugh at myself
As the years roll down.
’cause it’s the world I know.
It’s the world I know.

It’s sad, the world is so different now from what i used to see it 10- 15 years ago, as a child, fearless and carefree, as i am entering the early years of my adulthood, i begin to understand why my parents are "skeptical" about things, negate certain issues, and take everything with a pinch of salt, i hate the new way of looking a things, but at the same time, i find it a blessing to know that i have been developing as i grow along, just today i had a great lesson, by people around me who have been there done that, lecturers, and of course, ah yah my own father…..he’s 50, he calls it the age where u’re too young to die, and too old to do anything useful. the same man who profess by his belief that smoking is bad for health, but heck good for the body. anyway, this is one of those spur of the moment life’s lesson that i am posting about, u’ve probably heard it like a million times, but still….it’s unexplainable, deep, ethical and dillemaish, i mean of course i have no first had experience, but it’s like these people around me are killing the fun of making mistakes, they keep telling u their mistakes in the hope that u dun make them. But it seems that the more they tell, the more prone u are into getting urself into it, i suppose this is when u say, life’s lessons are learnt, not taught. U cannot teach a man how to avoid corruption, he himself will determine if he has rights to corruption, u cannot teach a man to help others, he has to find in himself the emotions to give.

It’s weird, funny, the whole week just this whole week, i have done so many things i have never done before, i actually act rationally and learnt to control impulsive actions like slamming doors on my lecturers and fighting with people who cross my path, maybe ive learnt not to make enemies, or maybe it’s the morning prayers i am saying now daily ( well…the ACCA results sure needs helluva lot of prayers), it’s sad to say that i am 22 and i am already mellowing down. I started becoming the bigger person( though i am already 6 feet 3 inches and have a waistline of 38). I am starting to do things when previously i thought i would only read in the chicken soup series while shitting my brains out in the toilet and then tell myself, what a whole lotta crap. It’s weird, it’s coming, and it’s happening, maybe i think too much, or maybe it’s just a phase i am going through.

I am 22, but i feel like i’ve seen 40 years of life, i’ve felt like i’ve lived much longer here than i am now, i am even not afraid to die. Like if it happens tmrw( touchwood), i would want my parents to play music like Van Halen, Deep purple, Bon Jovi, Bon Jovi, and Eagles during my funeral. It’s sad, but i think it’s happening, my frens call me "cheong hei", sum called me "ah pak" doesnt help that i have more white hair than most 30 year olds…it’s the genes i tell u, even my sister says i emulate my father often enough and am getting pretty good at it, they tell my mum i sound like my 50-year-old-smoking-is-bad-for-health-but-good-for-the-body-believer father. 

I suppose, in shorter terms i am growing up, sum 30 year olds still party hard like they used to when they’re 18-19, sum 50 year olds fight like little children over sum grandmother stories such as wartime stories but i suppose, i am seeing it the way i am suppose to see it, the way i am suppose to analyse and then come to conclusions different from people, this past two years of college life, i learnt beyond curriculum and academia, i learnt to explore parts of my tiny brain i have never used before, judgements, plans, thinking, yeah a whole lotta thinking, and how to see and read people around me, learn to be skeptical, learn to negate and learn to swallow the humble pie. It was good while it lasted, and oh well, it is still ongoing, i learn new things every single freaking day. no rest for the weary they say

So people, go learn, go explore and go find out fer urselves, why, what how, when and where life is bringing u. u’ll soon see.

CiaoZ

KungFu pAuL

I tell you arrr

Yes, I have updated my blog, this time to tell ya all about day 2 of my harrowing experience with the world’s craziest, toughest exams. The ACCA papers. Today was day two, and it was tougher than the first ( yesterday’s) aiyor, I tell u, for three hours I had butterflies, sandflies, houseflies, and other types of flies in my stomach. Each jabbing and biting my poor thin walls out ( I lost weight btw since the last blog).

I tell you, for three hours, u never feel more adrenaline rush in ur body than ever before, I mean coughing out 3 main points of clash in debates in 7 minutes is easy, but coughing out three points for ur papers, man, that was mother of all toughness, even leather boots aren’t so tough,

I tell you, in my 22 donkey years of my existence, I never felt more stressed in an examination hall than I had today, no, it wasn’t the BIG huge airy space of the college hall, nor was it the super cold air conditioning meant to kill even the Eskimos. But rather the pressures of knowing that u have to cough out nearly 450 bucks to resit one paper. It’s the thought of all those hard-earned money go down the drain because of a pen, this is when I truly agree, the pen Is mightier than the sword.

I tell you, neither ur STPM nor ur SPM nor ur PMR nor ur silly little thesis paper in degree programmes can prepare you for the wonderful colors of Benetton u see when u do ur ACCA papers.

I tell you, in those three hours, I finally realize the full potential of my brains ( which btw is not very impressive either anyway). And how much u can actually do in three hours.

I tell you, if interviewers were to shoot me with 100 questions in 3 hours, I would gladly answer each one of them in no time, but in the paper, 5 questions also I cannot finish.

I tell you, after those three hours, u feel drained, your peni$ starts to swell because u held onto ur pee pee for a little too long, and ur hands feel so cold that u dun even need air con in ur car despite it being under the hot sun for like 4 hours. U feel a shiver down ur back that creeps, the type that makes u wanna faint.

I tell you, after the three hours, u cannot even taste the salt in Macdonald’s fries, the sugar in the coke and u cannot even tell if u had chilli sauce or if u had tomato sauce. Heck I dun even know if I was eating beef or chicken if I didn’t look at the color. Even that I had to wear my glasses.

I tell you,  after those three hours, u see 5 lanes on MRR2, u see cows crossing the roads ( which I knew were not there though the occurrence is highly possible) and u hear sirens ringing in ur ears, I have never felt that since I first started driving 5 years ago.

I tell you, after those three hours I suppose if I pass the paper in which I tell u again my dear frens reding this, please do pray fer me, I hope I can sit back and laugh at the day I suffered this trauma during the exams, It’s no fun, a first timer sitting in an examination so big, so tough, and so real, it was scary, fun, crazy, wild, weird, exciting, relieving all in one three hour examination.

I tell you, you’ll start to consider at some point if u have made the wrong or right decision, u will question if u have the energy to move on, to carry on, u start to think if u really want to go through all these for a silly title to start pushing papers,

But then again,

I tell you, when u finish the paper and sit back and finish ur half hearted macdonalds foldover, or when u start driving floatingly along MRR2 and the elevated highway, u start to smile and say hey, perhaps I didn’t do too bad did I??,

I tell you, after drinking sum sugar into your body, and walloping a cup of ice cream and sit there with ur undies on in front of the computer typing ur blog, u start to think, hey, maybe it isn’t as tough as it seems.

I tell you, when u realize that all u have is two more papers, and u have done two earlier ones, u sigh relief that u have went through the trauma, and u dun feel so bad after all, suddenly the butterflies start to mate elsewhere instead of ur tummy, and the sandflies seem to have died due to hydrochloric acid poisoning ( and probably diedof the combo dinner I had), and when the houseflies seem to have found their way out of u know where, u feel light, u feel hopeful and u feel glad it went through without any casualties

I tell you, this HarroWing experience taught me a valuable lesson, gone are the days where accountants are bookkeeping geeks, yes we are nerdy at times, not knowing the latest fall fashion, or who married who in showbiz, but we know our standards, we can shun off those old timers qualified by experience, we know much more than we used to do, we have learnt a great deal of stuff that cannot be garnered merely by reading books,

I tell you, ACCA is no play play paper, dun for a second think you can outsmart those B%^^&y kwai lohs, they have come a long long way, perhaps I may have to refer, perhaps I dun, but deep down only I know what will happen, it was great it is still great, perhaps more i tell yous after the 14^th which is the last day, but right now, all I can tell you is :

Two down, Two More To Go.

Adios, CiAOz